I am not my body

Tomar, Portugal

My beloved friend Niek always said 'I am not the body' 'My body is disabled, but my mind is free'
He was an enlightened man in a disabled body. 
My body is in pain and I got to discover and experience a small bit what his words really meant. 

My body showed me her physical discomfort. I couldn't move my upper body because of an intense pain in my neck, shoulderblades and my heart was deeply hurting as well. My field felt closed and I hardly could breath as my chest couldn't open. My body collapsed. 
I couldn't fight it so I dropped on my bunkbed in the hostal. I settled as much as I could and made a little house for myself by decorating with shawls. 
I started listening: 'body what are you telling me?' I went to the first moment when I felt this pain. It was quite easy to track that as the stiffness never left my body ever since. 
I dropped in a full relaxation. An ocean of pain was felt. Every breath took me on her journey through my body. Every breath I felt the pain and the stifness in the different parts. Every breath I would drop even deeper and let go of the control which was very much present in my muscles. It felt they were in shock. A slight movement would get my body in full contraction again. No movement, no thoughts, just breathing slowly and consciously. The more conscious I was breathing the less pain I felt. This was a long process, constantly breathing in and out, at certain moments I disappeared, I found myself in another space. Other moments I fell back into the reality of my unmovable body and pain. Surrendering more and more to this teaching. A great teaching which is necessary and I trusted, I fully trusted and embraced. I think this was the biggest key to my quick healing, TRUSTING. 
I moved deeper into this space and asked my body to unveal the story. I allowed the story to unveal. More and more my body felt comfort. It took 2 days untill I could move a little bit again.
I feel an immense humbleness unfolding in my BEing when I understand the teaching and my heart opened. 
My body still needs attention as it is part of me being here on earth. She is my vehicle where my Soul can manifest through and experience what it has to experience and give what it has to give. I am not my body, but she is my mirror, my teacher and my guidance. Only by listening to her and taking well care, my Soul can be fully expressed by dancing my body.

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