One year ago I was depressed, went through deep dark nights of the Soul, to do with the ending of a relationship. My heart was in deep pain. It was very intense, but it was needed to free mySELF for the big shift to happen. I choose, I choose to live, I choose for happiness, MY happiness and I started to create a new story, a much better one...
My heart was in pain, but I choose to surround myself with happiness. I also choose to reach out and to share my dark nights with my beloveds. Something I never did before, but it helped me immensely to make a shift. I felt my (energetic) wings and Selflove growing.
Together we focused on happy things, without pushing away the tears, raised the vibration and focused on the New.
I was creating the New by writing a new script of my life. What do I want? What do I wish from life? On all aspects: relationships, well-being, work, money.
My script was unfolding on paper, but to start manifesting, it was necessary to raise my vibration to the level of my script otherwise it never could unfold into my reality. To bring myself from a vibration of depression to a vibration of 'the new' took some effort and focus.
In the beginning it was important for me to write my script in a way that it was easy to believe and realize. It would go like: 'I live and work close to the beach. I have lots of freedom to do whatever I want. I am in nature and can hike and be on my own. I can live in a community for free. I can relax and fully absorb life.'...3 months later I was living it.
I quited my job, rented out my house, kept raising my vibration and there I landed on a beach in Portugal. Working in an organic garden with the best food, great accommodation and lots of extras the Universe gave me.
Before I headed there I had to face some lower energies along the way and keep raising, otherwise the flow stops or drops and depression could kick in any moment. (See other blogs)
More and more wishes were there to be heard. I started to bring them into my reality. I was freeing mySELF on many levels.
After 6 months I felt the urge to return to The Netherlands. I missed my dog very much and besides, I wanted to check, 'how free did I really get?'
Getting back into the matrix, connecting with friends and family will give me lots of oppertunities to see how far I got. I even received some visions about connecting with the passed relationship again. I would live together with him and I saw him together with a Sister.
I would live together with him??? No way!! I pushed away the vision...it was something I didn't want to look at and definitely not wanted to face. Obviously there was still some serious work to do!
I arrived in The Netherlands. The first weeks I stayed most of the days on my own as connecting with people took a lot of my energy. Somehow my mind disappeared and I could neither share nor listen to stories without getting exhausted in a very short time. I found myself mostly BEing in nature. After a month I started to connect more outwards and the old patterns started to show up. I was conscious, but I still stepped in my old patterns, especially the ones to do with the old relationship. How blind was I?
All my visions came true and I can say now, all the learnings, drops of consciousness and vibration were all needed to say fully YES to my Selflove AND say NO to the love I felt for him. To choose for my Selflove led me to great clarity. It impressed (and shocked me) how deeply energetically hooked we were. My blindness faded away, the illusion faded away...I took back my power and my wings started to spread. WOW, there was so much more of me coming into fullness now...this gave me strength to keep trusting my path.
Ofcourse my heart was in pain and disappointed again, but I knew what to do now. I could use this oppertunity to amplify my new story. Once you get hurt, you really know what you don't want and it is fun to write what you do want. My new story started to unfold and in a very short time big shifts started to take place in my life.
Life unfolded...2 months later I find myself in heaven of the Caribbean. My emotions are stable, I feel joy and happiness, I can share my gift and passion, money starts to flow in, relationships and connections are flowering and my field feels very expanded... I feel a deep gratitude for my life and path.
Every day I read my new story and adjust it there where it needs to be adjusted. I add my wishes, desires, longings, I make it more specific and most importantly I feel it and breath it through every cell of my body (for at least 1 minute).
Breathing in the new, breathing out the new and... LIVE IT!