I want to feel free, I want to do what I want, I never want to work anymore, etc.
'What is freedom?', I ask myself, 'Is freedom from the personality or from the Soul?'
The answer I directly receive, is: The Soul is free, it doesn't long for anything.
Remembering this all the wantings are desires of the personality. How can I satisfy these parts of me? It is obviously very destracting when it is not satisfied, it keeps coming back and screams louder and louder when I don't give it attention and I will get grumpy, moody, tired and even depressed.
The personality wants to go on adventure, discover new places, new people, go dancing, go wild and above all, it wants to feel free. When I get stuck into these desires, after a while ignoring it, I get very restless. The only thing I can think of is take my stuff and go. Go away and travel and search for the right place where this all can be satisfied. For what am I looking exactly?
I spoke to a dear friend about this and she mirrored me beautifully as she always does: 'You are doing it again. You are running away. The moment when the place starts blooming, you run away. The place is beautiful, the surroundings stunning, you do amazing sessions, you have great people and food and all the freedom. You have everything you wished for before you left.
Really, stay and connect with the place and with yourSELF. And when you want to run away again, you call me! Promise?'
I had to admit she was right. I have been a firestarter in lots of projects and places. The moment when it really gets exciting, I take off, run away. Basically I am afraid to take full responsibility for mySELF, I start to understand that more clearly.
Here I am and I decided to stay longer and get everything out of the experience. Connect deeper with the place, the people and mySELF and keep doing my work by giving individual and communitysession to bring everybody in connection with their highest potential, including myself.
This decision gave immediately movement in my system. I feel that I am landing more and rest and peace descends over me! My personality got silent.
It finds peace as well. It can go surfing each day, sleep at the beach anytime It wants, (hitch)hike to new and undiscovered towns, hike through amazing nature, go for wildcamping. Enough excitement for my personality not to get bored and grumpy.
Finding balance to all parts of my being gives rest to my whole system.
When all of me is in balance I find peace and freedom is the answer!
Finding peace in all that I am!